Ashes and Tears
by ChaosOfJudgement
Summary: A duskshipping of KarstxFelix as he tries to find peace and his lost love.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Felix sat at the edge of the rift and stared into the eternal darkness. He found comfort there, feeling akin with the empty blackness. A few tears crept down his cheeks and froze; the snowstorm was tearing at his clothes with the ferocity of a feral beast. He didn't care.

He made the journey here at least once a week. The ever-increasing path to the rift as it shrunk, the gale, and the cold, was the punishment for his crimes which he served willingly. He pulled his gaze from the darkness and started walking back to Prox. The cold wind was biting at his hands.

"So cold" he said to himself, "It's always so damn cold". He trudged on and the village loomed in to view, a few villagers smiled and nodded as he passed, he nodded in reply and carried on. He walked towards the house of the village elder, Puelle, the only man he could really talk to about what had happened.

"Ah, Felix, welcome. Can I offer you a drink?"

"Just something hot, thanks."

Puelle poured out two glasses of spiced wine, a recent import from one of the hotter climates of Weyard, and indicated to a chair. Felix sat down and took a sip of his drink while Puelle fixed him with a long, thoughtful stare before speaking.

"Still snowing, then?" he asked with a chuckle, Felix smiled a little, "I can see you've been to the rift."

"How can you tell? I could have been anywhere."

"You have that look in your eyes, that emptiness."

Felix looked away in shame, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Felix, what happened up there; the villagers agree that none of you are to blame for what happened in the lighthouse. When you kil-"

"Don't!" Felix roared, slamming his fist onto the table, "Don't say it!" He turned away, unable to look at Puelle for fear he would see him crying.

"When... that happened," Puelle continued, "you couldn't tell it was them, they appeared as dragons and if you hadn't fought back they would have killed you." He sighed. "I've told you this over a thousand times and you know it better than I do, but you will never listen to me. You will keep bullying yourself day after day until, one day; you don't survive the walk back here. Every time you go there you risk your life." He took deliberate care with his words. "And..." he thought for a moment and caught his breath, Felix turned back and saw terrible sadness in his face. "It pains me deeply to do this to our saviour but, for your own wellbeing, I hereby banish you from Prox and all its lands."

Felix stared in horror at Puelle, and felt as though someone had shoved an icicle through his chest.

"No..."

"You are to leave Prox and travel south, and you may only return when you have found peace."

"No... please, Mayor, please don't do this."

His face was solemn, almost judgemental. "I don't want to do this, Felix, but your actions have left you with two choices; forget about Karst or accept that she isn't coming back."

Another icicle pierced his brain. "Y-you can't just... you just... but, I don't want to leave!"

"Nevertheless, you must." He stood over him, a judge condemning a criminal, "You will leave in the morning."

Felix didn't know what to say. He felt numb, he stood up. "I understand. Goodbye."

"I'm sorry Felix, this is not what I wanted."

Felix stumbled through the snow back to his house. He didn't bother lighting the fire. He just collapsed into his bed, fully clothed, and stared at the floor. Slowly, he fumbled under his shirt and felt for the necklace he was wearing. It was a simple metal chain and on the end of it was a pendant in the shape of a phoenix feather; one of the symbols of Prox. He held it tightly, rubbing his thumb along the cold, smooth metal, no matter how much he held it the pendant wouldn't warm. Moving his thumb towards the side he felt for the catch and the pendant pinged open.

Inside there were a few tiny strands of pinky-red hair. He quickly closed it and fell asleep, and as always, his dreams were his memories.

_Felix was standing at the entrance to Prox, Saturos and Menardi were waiting impatiently behind him as he said goodbye to his parents. Snow was falling gently and the cold was receding under the morning sun._

"_Hurry it up, boy." Barked Saturos, "The tide won't wait for us."_

_Felix said his farewells and turned to leave, he had just passed through the gate when a voice called behind him._

"_Hey! Wait up!" Felix turned to see Karst running towards him and his heavy heart lifted. "You dared to leave without saying goodbye? You're lucky I didn't blast you to bits!" Felix grinned and she stopped in front of him, panting slightly._

"_I can't say goodbye if you don't turn up, Karst."_

"_Oh, shut up. I was busy, alright?"_

"_What was so important that it mattered more than me?" He said with an air of mock arrogance._

"_Uh...w-well I... err" Felix quickly lost all humour; on the rare occasions when Karst lost her confidence it was something really important. "I... I didn't want you to forget me. So I-I made this for you." She placed the amulet into his, her fingers lingering on his. Her head dropped and Felix could tell she was blushing. "It's a good luck charm in Prox. I feel like a character in some trashy romance novel, but I want you to think of me now and again." Felix brought his hand up to her chin and lifted her head. Her cheeks were glowing and she struggled to meet his gaze. "D-do you like it?"_

_ Felix slowly brought her face closer and her soft lips met his, her crimson eyes closed as their bodies moved closer. Their fingers intertwined and her perfume reached his nostrils; spicy and powerful. He drew back. Their eyes met._

"_I don't need an amulet to remember you, Karst." She blushed heavily and looked down again. "But I love it. Thank you."_

"_Uh... Good luck, take care and everything."_

"_I will, I'll be back soon."_

"_Don't lie. You're going to travel the world, so I built that amulet to last."_

_Saturos and Menardi had already gotten far away, and now Saturos turned and roared "Get a move on!"_

_She smiled at him, "Goodbye."_

_He smiled back and began to leave, but something changed. Just as he turned her sad smile changed, and a high pitched noise was building in the back of his head. No-one else seemed to notice and the noise was getting louder and louder. Karst's expression was growing more fearful until it seemed that she was terrified of something. He asked what it was but his voice was lost under the noise that filled his entire body. The place around him changed. He wasn't in Prox anymore; he was in the Mars Lighthouse._

_ The last thing he saw before he woke was Karst screaming and his bloody sword buried in her chest._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kalt island had grown recently; due to Prox becoming a viable trade option now that the glaciers had been removed merchants were swarming over from across the world to take advantage of the village's need for pretty much anything. As a result Kalt Island had changed from a tiny settlement to a bustling trade port that was already struggling to fit on the tiny landmass. The snowy silence had been replaced by the calls of discounts and sales and the pristine ice was now dirtied with footprints and refuse.

A few street urchins were darting from stall to stall, hoping for a moment when the merchant's back would be turned so they could snatch a crust of bread or the head of fish. One particularly quick child pilfered an entire loaf, and for a brief moment his heart was filled with joy until cries of "Stop!" and "Thief!" came from behind him. He ran. He dodged under stalls and in between legs as the fat merchant pushed his way through the uncaring crowd, to them he was just another victim of the urchins trap; one child steals something, the merchant gives chase and the other children ransack his stall while he is gone.

The boy barged through the crowds, knocking over a stack of crates filled with chickens that sent a flurry of panicked feathers into the crowd, causing untold panic, the distraction gave him the edge and he forced his way out of the square. For a moment he rested against a wall and breathed a sigh of relief, but he felt a hand rest on his left shoulder and looked up to see the glaring face of the fat merchant. The boy immediately kicked him in the shin and ran the other way, tailed by the limping merchant and a chain of curses. He took a few turns and cursed himself; this way was a dead end if he went further. He heard the man catch up with him and, hoping to find a way out he knew didn't exist, turned the corner.

As he expected he was greeted by three tall, featureless walls that were impossible to climb. Just as the boy was about to give up he saw something in front of him; the air was shimmering. Then there was a ripple as if someone had pushed all the air away and a man appeared in front of him, he was tall, he had dark hair and he was carrying something that looked like a glowing cube in his hand.

"Get behind me, child." He said, his voice low. The boy obliged. The merchant quickly caught up, red faced and panting.

"Did you see a small child come this way?" he asked, gasping.

"Sorry, no."

The merchant growled and headed off in the other direction. The boy emerged from the folds of the man's cloak.

"Fanks, mistah." He said.

"Don't worry about it."

"But warr did yoo sayve me?"

"Not everyone is equally blessed in life; some people need a helping hand."

Not really understanding, the child just nodded and smiled. "Here," the man continued, handing him a few gold coins, more than the child had ever seen, "buy yourself a real lunch."

"Fanks again, mistah, bye." The urchin ran off, clutching the coins as if they were worth more than his life.

Felix smiled and, putting the Teleport Lapis into his pocket, walked towards the market square, where most of the chaos had calmed. He bought provisions from some of the stalls, he didn't bother to haggle as his adventures had given him money to burn, and sat on a beach while he ate an apple and enjoyed the chill. The cold was comforting; not enough to make him need more clothes but enough to remind him of Prox. Felix sighed, once again, memories were brought back to him.

_Felix and the other survivors trailed behind Saturos and Menardi, the snow was deep and they had never come across anything more than a light flurry in Vale so every pace was difficult. Their feet were cold and the snow blew in their faces. Felix wondered where in this godsforsaken place Prox was, and if it was anymore than a cave._

"_How far away is it?" He asked, exhausted by Saturos' pace._

_Saturos ignored him. Felix sighed and carried on, after about an hour a village homed into view and Felix felt relieved. He could see a few people working on various chores and a few children were throwing balls of snow at each other. As he got closer he noticed all the people were like Saturos and Menardi; they all had oddly coloured skin and hair, and at some point on their bodies they seemed to have scales. Felix found it fascinating. _

"_Well, here you are." Proclaimed Menardi, "Welcome to Prox. Get used to it, because you'll be living here for a long time." Felix sighed._

"_Is it always this cold?"_

"_No, it's a very warm day actually."_

_Felix cursed repeatedly inside his head and he didn't see the small hill in the snow that indicated a rock. He caught his foot and immediately faceplanted the ground._

"_Hah! What a wimp! It's going to be fun winding him up." Mocked a knew voice. Felix looked up, face dusted in snow and saw a red figure through the blur in his eyes. "Where did you get this weakling, Menardi?"_

"_Nice to see you too, Karst, and it's a long story, I'll tell you later."_

"_Fine, whatever." The girl called Karst walked over to the prone form of Felix and crouched down. "Oi." She said, "Are you going to get up or do you plan on lying there forever?"_

_Felix got up, brushed the snow from his face and looked at Karst. He stifled a gasp. Her eyes were a burning crimson that pinned him in place with an icy cold stare. He found it difficult to break her gaze but when he did he saw that, from the shape of her face, she was Menardi's sister._

"_Um, hi, I'm Felix."_

"_Oh."_

"_...So you're Karst then."_

"_Yeah, what of it?"_

"_Nothing, nothing, just...nice to meet you."_

_Karst grunted and turned her bored look back to Saturos and Menardi. "You arrived at a good time; Puelle was just starting to get worried. You and... Felix," she said his name with mild distaste, "should go and see him." And with that she turned and walked off._

Felix smiled, he never did work out why she acted so cold back then, but some things were always a mystery. He stood up and looked around; in front of him the sea stretched endlessly, a carpet of clear crystal. The sky was clear and a cold winter sun beat down on the topaz sands. In his ears the sounds of the settlement echoed of traders, gulls and children, and a few faint wafts of a cooking stall reached him occasionally.

"What should I do?" He said to himself, he began walking along the beach, Puelle's words echoed in his head. _"forget about Karst or accept that she isn't coming back."_ The words pained him just to remember them. He couldn't accept that she wasn't coming back; he had argued long into the night with the elders over this.

_Felix and the elders stood in Puelle's room, the other eight of their party was stood behind him, a respectful distance, each in one way trying to look comforting or understanding. Felix was apoplectic with rage and was roaring over the table that stood between him and the elders._

"_No bodies were ever found, therefore there is no evidence of their life or death." Said one elder._

"_Exactly! Surely the fact that there is no body suggests that they were revived by the Lighthouse like the others and walked out." Felix countered._

"_And if that happened then why didn't they come back to Prox?"_

Felix shook his head as if to dislodge the memories and looked back out to sea.

He couldn't accept, so he had to forget.

So, what do you think so far? Please do reviews so i know how it's going. Also I write my stories on the fly, ie. I don't put a full plan together beforehand, i just get a few vague ideas together in my head and write what comes to me. Therefore if you have any suggestions to what should happen next i will very happily listen to them as often i have trouble giving my stories length. Thanks


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A cold wind from the tavern door closing roused Felix briefly from his stupor, bringing a hint of clarity he wished to avoid. The tavern was a bustle of activity; the constant calls for drink intermingled with laughter, music and the occasional squeal from a serving girl groped by a rowdy, drunken hand meant that there was never a second of quiet. Felix kept himself apart from this however, seeking only the company of his drink. The cold breeze pierced his clothing, chilling his skin, and he huddled back into his seat. He shivered a little until calls came from patrons to shut the door and the wind was cut off. The drink wasn't working as well as he planned; his thoughts seemed to force their way through the alcoholic fog and press his mind as much as when sober, if not more. He pushed them back and looked around, trying to focus on something that would distract him. In the corner musicians plucked and strung away merrily but it was an old local song that he had heard many times. 'Old Madra's Folly' or 'Great Madra's...something' he wasn't sure. It didn't matter. He looked for something else and found only customers enjoying themselves. Felix wished that he could share their happiness. While he was usually a very calm person, he found himself longing to walkover and ask what they were talking about, but he didn't. To them he was just the latest drunk looking to drink away all his assets, they wouldn't care about him.

He turned back to his tankard and sought comfort in its' malty contents. It tasted awful but it was the strongest thing served here, even though it was quite mild. It did little to ease his pains and he knew it, but he simply couldn't find another answer, so he ignored his problems. He sighed as he looked at his reflection in the tankard; scraggy unkempt hair, bloodshot eyes, the beginnings of a beard and a layer of grime showed that weeks had passed since his last good wash. If only his friends could see him now, they probably wouldn't recognise him. His friends were another thing he wanted to avoid, simply because they had wanted to...talk...to him about his problems. It wasn't the talking itself he feared, it was talking about Karst; just thinking about her brought on a wave of misery and self-loathing that he couldn't deal with. Instinctively he reached for the Proxian Amulet around his neck, and felt a little more relaxed. He leant back and, giving up his resistance, he closed his eyes and let the memories wash over him.

_ For Felix every day was a cold day in Prox, however today felt particularly cold, although he said that a lot too. There was no snow today and, standing in front of Elder Puelle's House, he had a spectacular view of the tundra to the south as the morning sun kissed the ice, making it sparkle as if the sea had been frozen. He stood and watched the vista, ignoring the biting cold at his hands and feet. It was simply breathtaking to him, to be able to look out and see for miles anything that happened. The Vale was just a lot of mountains and trees. He missed the Vale, and his friends, and Jenna...but he couldn't leave Prox while his family was kept here. He wasn't sure if they were hostages in Prox as they were forbidden to leave and couldn't contact anyone in the South, but the elders claimed it was to save the world. That, and the fact that they were the most comfortable hostages he had ever heard; as long as they pulled their weight with work around the village they were kept well fed, warm and housed in a large cottage to the North of the town. It was for this very reason that he was waiting outside Puelle's house; firewood was needed for the winter stores and he was needed to go out and collect some. He wondered how he was expected to get enough wood for the village for a week, let alone winter, by himself when he got his answer._

_ He heard crunching footsteps behind him and turned to find Karst looking at him, the expression on her face unreadable._

_"Hey" He said. She grunted in return._

_"Are you here to collect wood too?" this time she nodded, and turned towards the door. Felix stood next to her, wondering if he was supposed to say something. They both stood in silence for a moment._

_"So," Felix began again, trying to look nonchalant "You get this job often?" Inwardly he winced as soon as the words left his mouth, was there possibly a duller question he could have asked?_

_She turned to him, as if reading his mind. "Do you always ask such dull questions?" she asked coldly._

_Felix cringed a little when she turned back, but before he could come up with something else to say she walked to the door and thumped on the wood hard._

_"Puelle," she yelled, "I'm here."_

_A voice came from inside, muffled by the distance "Is Felix with you?"_

_"The dull one? Yeah he is. I'm coming in." And with that she shoved the door open and strode in. Felix tried to salvage a little of his pride and followed her in. A balmy warmth met him inside and he closed the door quickly to keep it from escaping. The interior was decorated as he would have imagined; lots of bookshelves, several working desks and an armchair by the fire. Sat in it was Puelle, chief elder of Prox , a mug of spiced wine in one hand and a book in the other. It was an old tradition among the elders of Prox to prepare for work slowly in the morning by 'warming up' the mind with a book. Felix knew that several non-elders thought this wasteful, but the elders ran the town well, so no-one complained._

_"Ah, Felix, good to see you. I would apologise for Karst's rudeness but to be called 'dull' is one of her warmest greetings." Karst frowned._

_Felix smiled "It's okay, Elder Puelle, I deserved it."_

_"Please, just call me Puelle." He set his book and mug down. "This meeting is really just a formality so that I can let the other elders know where you are, but I need you to go and collect wood from the woods just a little to the South and put it in the storage caverns. The town needs a lot, especially in Winter, so you will both do this for the rest of the week."_

_Felix's smile shrunk an inch. Four days? Four days of carrying wood in the freezing cold? Four days of working in awkward silence with Karst? Karst herself said nothing, merely nodding._

_"Understood, c'mon Felix." Felix followed. He felt a little like he was being ordered around, but things were uncomfortable as it was already, so he complied._

_ The walk through the village was quiet. Silent, in fact. Felix spent a lot of it looking for particularly interesting patches of snow. Karst just looked straight ahead, seemingly in her own world. At one point he started whistling to himself, but an icy look from Karst shut him up._

"_Gods," he thought, "is she always this moody, or does she hate me for something?" Surely one boring question couldn't cause this. Mercifully, they arrived at the woods quickly and, before Felix could say anything, Karst walked off. Felix was confused._

"_Uh, Karst?" he called, she turned, "how do I cut the trees down?"_

_Karst didn't say anything, she just held up her hand, palm extended towards the trunk, and something shone. It was a ball, no, an orb, that seemed to contain endlessly twisting fire, from the burnt down embers of a morning camp fire to a roaring forest blaze. The dancing and flickering flames were hypnotic, but his trance was broken as the orb left her hand and fired into the tree, taking off a large chunk of the wood. _

"_Wow…" he whispered, stunned. For a moment he didn't say anything, but when he recovered he looked back to her. "Um, I can't do that."_

"_Then use an axe." was her curt response._

"_I didn't bring one."_

_She blinked. "You mean to say that you walked all the way out here to cut down trees without an axe?" Her tone was flat, but Felix felt the condescension behind it. _

"_Uh, yeah."_

_Karst turned back to her tree. "Then go get one, idiot." _

_Felix sighed and trudged back towards the village. He knew it was his fault, but Karst was really starting to piss him off._

_ He returned a little while later; axe in hand, to find Karst among a copse of felled trees, sitting on one of them. _

"_What took you so long?"_

"_I was only gone ten minutes."_

_She shrugged. "Well I've done my share for now, so get working."_

_Felix bit back his irritation and chose to take his anger out on one of the trees. He picked a small one to start with. Pulling his arms back he swung the axe around with all his strength and hit the trunk._

_It was like hitting metal. The axe clanged off and Felix felt a spasm of pain go up his arm. He dropped the axe, hissing in pain. Behind him he heard Karst laugh._

"_The trunks are frozen this time of the year. You'll have a hard time getting enough wood at that rate."_

"_Oh shut up, Karst." Felix snapped back, hunched over in pain._

_For a moment Karst was taken aback. But then her smile returned. "Ha! So you do have some backbone after all." He heard the snow crunch behind him. He didn't expect, however, for her to kneel down next to him and gently lift his injured arm towards her. He stood, stunned, as she rolled back his sleeve and felt for any damage. He could feel the strength in her arms, and to see them so gentle and graceful was strange._

"_Aura." She muttered quietly, and immediately her forearms glowed with psynergy. Felt warmth spread from his arms into his whole body, he quickly felt drowsy and began to drift of when Karst's voice brought him back to awareness._

"_There, you're fine. Now stop whining and get working." She got up and went back to her seat on the tree trunk, her cold exterior apparently back._

_Felix stood up and looked at his arm; it didn't hurt, in fact it was like he had never injured it. For a moment he wondered if he had actually hurt his arm at all, and Karst helping him was just his imagination. Indeed when he looked back to her she looked exactly the same as she did before, as if she had never moved. The tiny chip on the tree trunk proved him wrong, however. He picked up the axe and this time swung less recklessly; the axe bit into the trunk a little, and he set to work. It was long and tiring, but by the end of the day he had chopped down several trees. Occasionally Karst had helped him with a bolt of psynergy or two, although he suspected she did it to hear his yell whenever a bolt of fire went through his legs without warning and hit the tree in front of him, but most of his work was his own. By now the sun was beginning to dip in the sky, and the cold had seeped into his clothes._

"_We can haul these back in the morning." Said Karst, standing next to him, "They aren't going anywhere without us so…what are you doing?" Felix turned to ask what she meant to find those powerful red eyes staring at him; or rather she was staring at his chin, and his hands._

"_What do you mean?" he asked, confused._

"_You're shaking."_

"_Oh, I'm shivering because I'm cold."_

_She frowned. "You're what?"_

"_I'm shivering."_

_Her expression was blank. "What's that?"_

_Felix paused as the cogs turned in his head; Proxians didn't feel the cold due to their Mars psynergy, so shivering would probably seem strange._

"_It's what non-Proxians do when they're cold."_

"_Why?"_

"_I don't know. It's not really out of choice, it just sort of happens."_

"_Oh." Karst seemed thoughtful, looking at him, but then her mouth twitched. Felix wandered what she was doing when, to his amazement, she broke into a smile. Not a like the smile he had seen several times before: a smile thinking of some evil plan like a cat looking at a mouse, but a genuine, open-hearted smile of mirth. Felix couldn't have been more surprised until her smile turned into a giggle, a very feminine, un-karst-like giggle. She clasped her hands over her mouth to try and stop herself, but she carried on anyway._

_Felix felt a little hurt as he stood, shivering. "Hey, what's so funny?"_

"_You just- you look so stupid!" And she collapsed into full blown hysterics in the snow._

"_Hey, shut up, it's mean to laugh at- at-" but suddenly , for some reason, he found it very funny too and quickly they were both doubled over, gasping for breath and laughing. Somehow the fact that it was funny made it funnier and the longer they both laughed, the louder and larger it was. They were both quickly lying in the snow, slowly reigning in their laughter until only the occasional chuckle escaped. They lay there, watching the clouds until Karst broke the silence._

_"Do all people in the South really do that?" _

_"Yeah, does it seem that odd to you?"_

_"Less odd more...funny." Another snort of laughter._

_"Shut up." He said, only half serious. "You know, you're a completely different person when you laugh."_

_"What do you mean?" The slightest hint of an edge returned to her voice._

_"You're so much more relaxed, you always seem so tense around the other villagers."_

_"Oh, really?"_

_"Yeah, it's nice to see it", you're so pretty when you laugh too and-" Felix snapped his mouth shut, realised what he had said. Why had he said that? That was meant to stay in his head. He cursed silently._

_"Um, thanks." Came the slightly surprised reply. There was a pause. "Wait, do you mean that when I don't smile I'm ugly?"_

Gods, it gets worse! _"No, No, I just mean-"_

_"I'm kidding." Had he been able to see her face then Felix knew she would have stuck her tongue out. "I know what you mean. Guys are just bad with words. Thanks, anyway." She got up, a dusting of snow on her cloak. She held out her hand to him on the ground. "C'mon. We need to get back."_

_Felix smiled, and took her hand. "Sure. Let's go home." _

Home. Felix hadn't had a home for two years; Vale had been destroyed and Prox…well Prox just seemed empty now. Sighing, he looked to his tankard. It was empty. Slowly, he pushed himself to his feet. Immediately he knew that he'd had a lot; his vision swayed and his legs felt as weak as a new-born lamb's. Staggering forward, he headed for the bar, pushing through the crowd and nudging others aside. He didn't realise his mistake until he heard the yells.

"Hey, you spilled my drink!" The crowd instantly fell silent. The music stopped. Heads turned. Felix swung around to find himself staring at a burly man's chest. He looked up sluggishly, squinting in the light, to get a look at his face. The man was head and shoulders above him, a huge brute with a heavy brow, a bald head and many tattoos. He was glaring menacingly at Felix. The front of his shirt was stained with beer, evidently Felix's work.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." He slurred, trying to stop swaying. The man leaned over him and took a step towards him. Felix recognised a fellow drunkard in the way he was staring at him.

"Well, watcha gonna do about?" The man hissed.

"Look, I don't have any money left." It was a lie, he knew, but he wasn't thinking straight.

"Well," the man flexed his arms a little. "we have a problem then, don't we?"

Someone behind Felix whispered in his ear. "Hey, don't start a fight with him. He _will_ win."

Felix didn't like that. He didn't like that at all.

"Oh, so you wanna fight, do ya?" Felix leered, mimicking the brute.

"Yeah, I do." He grinned, and swung his huge club of a first in an arc at Felix. Felix ducked, his intoxicated reflexes kicking in just in time. The crowd scattered. Felix threw a punch at the man's chest. It was like hitting a wall. He gasped and clutched his hand, the man aimed a kick his way that caught Felix in the side and sent him crashing into a table. He staggered to his feet and grabbed a chair, swinging around he put all his weight into it and smashed it into the man's arm. A chair leg broke off but Felix heard a resounding crack. The man retreated, growling in pain. Felix lunged for him, pressing his attack, but at the last second before his fist connected he saw the brute smile; sensing danger, Felix tried to pull back but the man grabbed his arm in mid punch, holding Felix off balance. Felix grabbed the man's arm with his other hand in a desperate attempt to get free from the man's iron grasp but, left so open, Felix was easy prey. The brute's knee thundered into Felix's stomach; his breath was knocked out of him, and his struggles ceased. Felix was held in the air like a child with a rag doll and the man laughed triumphantly and, his right arm hanging limply by his side, he spun Felix around and threw him across the tavern. Felix flew over tables, chairs and crouching customers before crashing into a huge pile of tables and chairs; pain flared through his whole body and he laid there, his tired limbs unable to summon the energy to go on. He felt himself be picked up and carried. He saw the door open in front of him and he was catapulted out into the street, landing on a pile of filth and refuse. The door slammed behind him, but Felix just lay there, letting the filth he lay in drain all the warmth from him. It was cold, but he had endured worse. Far worse.

_It had all started with Felix, once again, chopping wood. Karst was sitting on another log as she was already finished and was mocking Felix again, albeit much less seriously._

"_You know, laughing at me isn't going to make this go any faster." He said over his shoulder._

"_True," she admitted, "but it helps me pass the time."_

_Felix continued working. Like all the others it was completely frozen through, making it very difficult to cut through; Each cut was very tiring and took only a tiny chip of wood off._

"_Could you at least melt the ice off?"_

"_What, and make you suffer less?"_

_Felix vented his anger on the tree, hewing with all his strength. It still did little to the tree._

"_You really are weak, you know that?" She said, suddenly standing next to him._

"_Shut up." was all he could manage through gasps. _

"_Well, someone's a bit techy today."_

_Felix growled and hefted the axe again, but it bounced off the wood like it was rubber._

"_Give it to me." She ordered, and snatched the axe from his grasp. With an almost casual swing she bit deep into the trunk, and with a second swing she clove right through it. Felix just stood there, stunned._

"_You're…you're a lot stronger than you look."_

"_Well I have to be prepared."_

"_Prepared for what?"_

_She turned to look to the South, the huge glaciers just about visible. "One day I will have to leave to go and light the elemental lighthouses, you know - the ones Puelle told you about."_

"_Yeah. He did mention them when we first came here. I don't really see the problem with them though."_

"_What?" Suddenly Karst seemed taken aback._

"_Well, sure it's cold and icy all the time," he gestured out towards the landscape "but it doesn't look like its dying."_

_Karst looked like she'd been told she was ugly. "You aren't serious."_

_Felix was a little confused. "Well I haven't seen anything to say otherwise."_

_Karst relaxed a little. "I suppose you have lived far from all this, so you wouldn't know." She seemed to grudge saying it. "I think you should see it."_

"_What, the lighthouse?"_

"_Past the lighthouse. I mean the destruction. The end of the world."_

"_Isn't it really dangerous up there?"_

"_I can handle myself, and you need the training. Get a sword from the armoury and meet me at the North side of Prox tomorrow morning." And with that she turned and walked away towards the village, deep in thought. Felix decided to give her a few minutes head start, and then went back too._

_The next day, Felix stood in the biting wind and the swirling snow, waiting for Karst to show up; Normally he wouldn't have minded her being late, but only Karst would make him go for a two-day hike during the beginnings of a snowstorm. Idly, he checked his pack; everything he needed was packed safely away. He checked his sword, the blade felt heavy and unfamiliar but he knew that was because he wasn't used to it; the blade he used to own had been very light and short, designed for fending off the occasional creature that bothered the people of Vale. This blade was thicker, heavier. Designed to cause serious damage. He gave it a few test swings and then sheathed it again. Behind him he heard crunching snow and turned to find Karst, oddly wearing a scythe on her back._

"_Family heirloom." She said, noticing his stare. "Besides, I like the balance it has. You ready?"_

_Felix nodded, checking a few of his pockets just in case. _

"_Then let's go." They set out from the village. Immediately the wind became heavier and the snow thicker, as if the elements didn't want them here. Felix quickly found trudging through the snow tiring, and started to lag behind. For a while Karst yelled over her shoulder for him to hurry up, along with various insults that drove Felix on a little, but eventually she stopped so she could devote all her effort to walking. Using occasional gaps in the snow clouds Felix followed the sun move through the sky until it began to dip, and the temperature dropped even colder. Suddenly Karst held up her hand for them to stop, Felix froze, and then slowly inched forwards until he was behind her._

"_What is it?" He whispered. The storm had eased considerably and they could talk easily now._

"_Monsters." she replied, pointing forward. Felix made out some vague shapes in the distance, hidden by the snow. "Follow me, there's a cave off to the right that we can camp in, and I want to avoid danger right now." She turned to the right and softly moved off to the right, somehow making no noise in the snow. Her movements were slow and fluid, almost cat-like, Felix felt stupid when he tried to mimic her; his own efforts seemed to make more noise than before, Karst glared at her and somehow he knew she agreed. They both inched off to the side and the monsters took no notice of them, shuffling about in the distance, and occasional howl echoing through the snowdrifts. As they moved further away they drew close to some frozen trees and the beginnings of a large hill, and Felix saw the cave mouth they were headed for. He relaxed and stood up, wondering why Karst still huddled low; the monsters were out of site and they were safe. He took a step forward towards the cave._

_Underneath his foot, a frozen tree branch made a very loud snap._

_Echoed by the trees, the noise seemed impossibly loud from such a source. Felix cringed. From the floor Karst slowly turned to look at him, a very, very angry look on her face._

_Behind them, the monsters howled._

"_Get in the cave." was all she said, pushing him away and turning to face the monsters. The distant shapes drew closer, and gained detail. Felix saw that they were direwolves: vicious monstrosities of wolves that had grown the size of a cow. Fear gripped Felix that was colder than any snowstorm; he backed away very quickly, yet was unable to look away as Karst drew out her scythe and waited for them. How could she just stand there, looking so confidant? He was impressed, for sure, but what happened next took his breath away._

_Karst slowly raised her hand, Felix could see the psynergy building in her, and she let out a yell._

"_Serpent Fume!" From her hand a great bolt of fire burst forth, twisting and writhing like a huge snake. It darted forward with the speed of a cobra and blasted into one of the direwolves, knocking it backwards and turning it into a massive fireball. It screamed as it was catapulted through the air and landed in the snow where it lay still, dead. Felix was stunned, but Karst didn't seem to notice it. She darted forward between two of the wolves, her scythe spinning in a lethal whirlwind of death. Her blade opened the bellies of both beasts, their entrails spilling into the snow, blood turning everything red. Karst twisted and leapt to strike the wolf that been about to pounce upon her from behind, guillotining it in a shower of blood. She landed with a casual grace, head swivelling like a predatory animal to find hey last prey; two direwolves were left, circling slowly, wary of her after seeing the others die so quickly. She drew back her scythe and a strange seemed to come from it, a deep humming that quickly grew, and grew, and grew until it sounded like her scythe were howling. "Nightblood's Greed!" she roared, and she swung her scythe, and as she did a cloud of gas billowed from it and rushed towards the direwolves. Before they could flee it enveloped them completely and Felix heard terrified, agonised animal screams that got weaker and weaker until there was just an eerie silence. When the cloud cleared, the direwolves were nought but skeletons, as if they had been drowned in acid._

_Felix stood utterly till. Shocked, horrified, awed. Karst walked towards him. In under a minute she had wiped out the direwolves and she looked as if she hadn't even fought; totally unfazed. Her movement was so fluid, so precise, and so graceful. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. Even now, as she walked up to him, smeared in wolf blood she-_

_Karst's fist stopped his thoughts._

"_You idiot!" she screamed as she hit him again, "What were you thinking? Did you honestly think we were safe because we walked around a corner or are you just plain stupid?" She kicked him this time, knocking him over. "Why are you still out here? I told you to get in the cave, didn't I? Can't you even run away properly? Useless!" She kicked him again, this time in the stomach. _

_Felix lay on the ground, reeling, while Karst yelled at him and kicked him. Thinking about it, she did have a point; he knew almost nothing about direwolves so- OW! "Ok Karst, I get it no-" OW! Okay, he knew he was in the wrong but she was going too far here, and he was getting really fed up of her insulting him. The constant insults, again and again, just really-OW! -rubbed him the wrong way. "Okay stop now Kar-"OW! "Karst you made your-" OW! "Karst you're really starting to-" OW!_

"_Useless! Useless! You're such and idiot. Why did I even bring you out here?" _

_"Stop yelling at me." Felix managed to grumble, but either Karst was too angry or didn't care; another kick caught him in the shin. "Karst, stop hi-OW!- Karst that's really getting annoying n-OW!"_

"_Just shut up! Shut up and left me kick you." She aimed another one._

_Felix was really angry now. She'd made her point; she just needed to stop kicking him, and yelling at him. The endless insults were really starting to grate on him. OW! "Karst stop hitting me-OW! I said STOP HITTING ME!" Animal instincts took over. He leapt up from the ground and before he could stop himself he punched Karst. It took her right in the jaw and she took a step back, stunned. Felix jumped back, horrified. He hit her! She was looking at him._

"_Karst I'm so sorry I don't-" He stopped talking when he met her eyes and saw what was there. Fear. Before he could say anything she turned and fled into the cave. Felix felt terrible; not only had he hit a lady, but Karst. Shame filled him as he trudged towards the cave mouth, he was, however, confused about Karst's reaction: why was she scared? She knew full well he wouldn't have been able to hurt her badly. His own blow had held barely any force compared to hers. His injuries flared as he set his pack down; he decided to set up his tent outside that night. He didn't see or hear anything from Karst, so he just made a fire and went to sleep. _

_That night, still restless from earlier, a strange sound roused him. Swivelling his head around inside the tent, he found it was coming from the cave; It was a faint snuffling, no, wait, it was crying. It was Karst crying. So he had really hurt her that bad, guilt filled him again. Grimacing, he lay down and tried to sleep while quiet sobs filled the air._

_The next day was uncomfortable, and not just from his injuries. Karst didn't speak or look at Felix, just dropped a piece of roasted direwolf in front of him for breakfast before setting off North. The walk was silent and icy cold; Felix was shivering in minutes, Karst walked ahead, not noticing. The Mars lighthouse had been growing on the horizon for the whole journey but now that they had reached it Felix couldn't believe how big it was; it stood hundreds upon hundreds on meters high. His mind couldn't understand how anyone had managed to build something so massive. The whole tower seemed to glow like the embers of the fire and, somehow, Felix felt warmer just looking at it._

"_Venus has a kinship with Mars." Said Karst, speaking for the first time that day. "It's why you feel warmer." She didn't look at him or even acknowledge that he was there, she just kept on walking. Felix followed, secretly longing to go and explore. As they passed the lighthouse, however, Felix saw what they had come to see and lost interest in everything else. It was the destruction. The end of the world._

_It was black, not merely dark, but utterly without light. The only thing that filled the empty void was the occasional bolt of lightning; now that they were closer to it the air around them seemed a little bit colder. A horrible, clawing wind tore at him, trying to pull him towards that endless blackness like a whirlpool. Just looking at it seemed to sap his strength; he felt tired, weak, empty. He wanted to tear himself away, run away from this thing that shouldn't be but no matter how much he tried he couldn't stop looking. It was hypnotic. He took a step towards it. There was a gap of about a hundred meters between the Mars Lighthouse and this rift. They stood about halfway between both. Felix moved closer; he wanted to see more, to drink in this endless darkness with his eyes. He wanted to find something in it, something that would prove that it was more than nothing._

_Karst spoke, her voice empty and hollow._

"_We call it The Rift. Every day it eats away a little more and the land, pulling it into that void. We don't know what will happen when it reaches the Mars lighthouse, but if it is pulled in then we will never be able to break the seal, and Weyard will die. Felix, don't get too close. Felix!"_

_Felix snapped out of his trance and looked at her. He was now about five meters from the edge; he hadn't even realised he was walking. He hurried back to her, suddenly feeling very cold; the wind must have picked up, and the sun was getting low already. "Let's go back." He said. Karst nodded, yesterday's awkwardness seemingly forgotten. The both headed back towards the lighthouse as the wind picked up again, casting more snow against them. To Felix it seemed as if The Rift was trying to stop them leaving, to pull them into its gaping horizon-maw. _Gods, when did it get so cold? _He thought, pulling his cloak tighter against him. "Karst, can we slow down a bit?" He called. She ignored him, he sighed and kept walking. The cold was clawing at him now, working its way through his clothes and into his skin. He stopped for a second and rubbed his hands, trying to get some warmth back._

"_Come on, Felix." Karst called half-heartedly. Felix started forward again, the cold freezing his legs down to the bone. His movements felt sluggish and slow. For some reason he wasn't shivering, even though he knew how cold he was; it was as ice were chilling his soul rather than his body._

"_Hurry up, Felix." Karst called again, this time looking over her shoulder before carrying on. He pushed himself forward, but the cold was spreading into his chest. Panic gripped him. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. His whole body was shutting down as he grew colder and colder. Darkness closed in around the corners of his eyes, tunnelling his vision. Through the snow he saw the outline of Karst, distant and uncaring. He tried to call out to her but all he could manage was the faintest whisper. The darkness moved in, smothering him. He sunk to his knees; the last thing he heard was Karst's voice._

"_I said come on, Felix. Felix? Felix!"_

_The darkness took him._

_He was warm; that was the first thing he felt. There was something soft beneath him, supporting him. Slowly, he opened his eyes. He was inside the Mars lighthouse, he could tell from the red stone walls. He tilted his head up to see Karst was behind him; he was angled so that he lay over her with his head just beneath hers. Her whole body glowed with psynergy and her eyes were closed._

"_Karst, what-"_

"_Shhhhh Felix." She whispered, not opening her eyes. "Just sleep. I'll explain tomorrow."_

_Felix was too tired to argue. He closed his eyes, rested his head against Karst's shoulder and went to sleep._

_Felix woke the next morning with his head resting against Karst's, her perfume surrounding him. Its scent was strong, but pleasant to smell and not overpowering like she was trying to cover something else. It had surprised Felix that someone tough like Karst bothered with perfume at all. Felix turned his head slightly to look her; she was asleep. She looked so peaceful and calm. Felix sighed, Karst was a lot prettier when she was relaxed like this rather than when she looked cold or angry. Not that she wasn't pretty, not at all. She stirred, and opened her eyes, her deep red meeting his dark brown._

"_Hey." She said quietly, a hint of a smile crossing her face._

"_Hey, what happened last night?"_

"_You got rift sickness; you got too close to the rift and it tried to kill you. That's why you were so cold, it drains your strength. Looking at nothingness is bad for you, you know." _

"_So how did I survive?"_

"_I dragged you here and used my psynergy to keep you warm. That's usually enough to cure the illness."_

"_Thanks…wait, it tried to kill me? Is it alive?"_

"_I don't think so. The elders think that it's some kind of force, not really thinking but knowing that it has to destroy and devour."_

"_How did they work that out?"_

"_No idea."_

"_Oh. Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday, it should have occurred to me that monsters have better senses than us."_

_Karst shook her head. "I'm the one that should be apologising. Gods, why was I so _angry_? Those monsters were no challenge; I guess I was just worried about you."_

"_Funny way of showing it." Felix managed a chuckle._

"_There's something I need to say, too." She suddenly looked very nervous. She drew her knees up to her chest. "Thanks."_

_Felix looked at her blankly, he drew back a little. "For what?"_

_"Well, its kinda, hard to say really, just-" she was cut off by a muffled laugh by Felix. "Hey!"_

_"Sorry." he tried to stop himself."It's just you're so sweet when you're nervous." She blushed heavily. "Ok, I've stopped now." He said."Please, go on."_

_"Well, it's just that... that you're the closest thing that I've ever had to a friend. So thanks." She stared at her knees as she said this, looking almost guilty. Felix was stunned._

_"What? I mean, just, what?"_

_"Well, nobody in Prox is my age. Sure, I have Menardi but she spends all her time away with Satouros."_

_"But you hang around with Agatio a lo-"_

_"Agatio's an ass! All he talks about is fighting and training but there's no-one else even remotely close to my age. When you showed up at Prox for the first time, I know I was mean but, really, I actually hoped..." She trailed off, unsure how to finish._

_Cogs turned in Felix's mind."That's why you were crying last night."_

_She nodded, not bothering to deny it._

_"I was terrified that you were going to hate me. Terrified that I'd blew my one chance and was going to be alone again." She rested her head on her knees, her shoulders shaking little. "Why was I so angry?" She looked up at him, tears in her eyes."I'm so _sorry_, its just- its just-" She started sobbing and her head sank back onto her knees. Felix was speechless; he had always looked at Karst as a strong, powerful person. Looking at her now he saw what she really was - a lonely teenage girl that was desperate for someone to talk to. He didn't say anything. He simply put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close. She sobbed into his chest. They stayed like that for a while, Felix just letting Karst slowly recover; eventually she managed to stop sobbing. She looked up, eyes red. "Sorry." She sniffled._

_"Hey, don't apologise."_

_"I never apologised for being mean the first time I met you; growing up with Agatio teaches you to be a bastard or get lost."_

_Felix waved his hand as if to make nothing of it. "Meh, I'd forgotten. No worries."_

_Karst smiled, a shy, tentative thing that was so full of innocence. Felix felt entranced just looking at it, he quickly managed to pull his gaze away. He nudged Karst to the side and stood up. "Well, people are probably wondering where we are." He held out his hand to her. "Come on, buddy."_

_She looked at him, smirking. "Buddy?"_

_"Well, you're my friend, my buddy, aren't you?"_

_Just saying this caused this to dawn on her. She grinned, hope and delight in her eyes. "Yeah, I am."_

Dawn came for Felix stinking of rubbish, booze and vomit. He opened his eyes a crack and found himself blinded by the faint sunlight. He ached all over, probably a fight. He didn't remember. All he remembered was his dreams, his ever present, ever haunting dreams. They taunted him. They haunted him with an ever present ache that neither wine nor women could cure. He drank anyway, but he had never been able to summon the energy to talk to one of the tavern maids. To him it felt like betrayal. He was still drunk, he could tell; the shakes and the headaches hadn't come yet. He pushed himself to his feet, staggering out of the alleyway, searching for somewhere with a little warmth. He had to squint in order to see; his eyes were too sensitive from the previous night, and every step sent bolts of pain through him. How had he ended up like this? Once he had saved the world his friends but not he was just a shambling drunk, looked down upon by everyone. He tripped over something he didn't see and immediately hit the ground, his hands scuffing on the hard dirt. Lying there, face down in the dirt, the only thing Felix could manage to do was weep; hot salty tears cut through the grime of his face as he pulled himself upwards. Passers-by probably thought that he was mad as well as drunk as they saw him staggering, stinking and weeping his way down the street. He needed to leave Madra, move on to somewhere that people didn't know him. He headed for the edge of town; he would need to dig up some of the money he had hidden away. As he walked, he heard a voice call to him.

"Felix?" Whoever to it was, they were clearly shocked. And horrified. He turned to see who it was.

In front of him stood Isaac.

He called out something incomprehensible to him, possibly a greeting, as he staggered towards him. Isaac said something back that he didn't hear; Felix just focused on running to him. Isaac looked confused and worried as Felix lumbered over, and he was right to do so; as Felix reached him the last of his energy left him and he collapsed into Isaacs arms, barely conscious.

The darkness took him.


	4. Chapter 4

_After many, many, many years, I have finally come back to this damn thing. Honestly I forgot about it for a while, probably due to not playing the game for so long but I'm gonna try and finish it. Maybe, I'll end up just doing another chapter, forgetting about it again and annoy people, but fuck it; it's my fanfic and I'm feeling creative._

Felix woke in a bed, but it was in no way comfortable. Every sense roared in pain; the fibres of the bed dug trenches into his skin, a faint air current ripped the flesh from his face, his muscles were frozen in the agony of countless bruises, the creak of the floorboards below deafened him like the boom of an earthquake. His head hurt like...like...it hurt too much to put into words.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." said Isaac's voice next to him, nearly making Felix moan in pain. Isaac's voice was cold and quiet, without humour. Felix opened his eyes a crack, letting the light pierce him like a knife.

"Isaac?" he whispered.

"Drink this." was his reply, as he held a cup of water to his lips. Felix let Isaac hold the cup as he drank; his dignity wasn't really important to him anymore. The cool water stung his throat, but he felt a little better from it.

"Where am I?"

"Just a room in an Inn. One of the ones you didn't brawl in." His tone had a touch of venom, and Felix knew he wouldn't have liked Isaac's expression if he could see properly.

"What are doing here?" Felix whispered.

"Never mind me, what are _you_ doing here? Like _this_?" At this Felix noticed the horrible state he was truly in; he stunk of filth and liquor and his body felt like it had been through a meat grinder.

"It's...complicated."

"I'd bloody well hope so, from the state of you. Felix, we may never have been the best of friends but I deserve an explanation for this, and I'm going to get one." Felix thought for a moment, trying to think of something to say to escape this situation, he didn't come up with anything. "And what if I don't want to tell you?"

Isaac leaned in close to his ear and spoke softly. "If you don't tell me I'll tie you to this bed and won't bring you a single drop of alcohol." Felix stiffened, suddenly afraid. He needed alcohol, alcohol stopped the dreams, let him sleep at night. "Yes," came Isaacs voice again, confidant now. "I thought that would get your attention. Talk." Felix finally opened his eyes. The room was dark and dusty, and Isaac sat in a chair next to him. Felix hadn't seen that thoughtful, open face in a long time, and in a way he had missed it. The two of them had rarely agreed on ideas but he had enjoyed being challenged in that way. Looking into his eyes he saw disappointment and anger, but also worry, and Felix felt a little better just seeing that. Isaac pitied him, and some spark of dignity left in Felix reacted to it.

"Okay, I'll talk."

Felix told him everything, from the moment he had left New Vale to mourning in Prox to drinking his way to Madra. He told him of the void Karst had left, and his nightmares, and how he just wished he knew what had happened to her after Mars Lighthouse.

Isaac sat back in his chair, deep in thought. Felix sais nothing. He had seen that expression on Isaac's face before; often Isaac would remain completely silent whilst thinking over something. The silence lengthened. Felix grew tense, this was a long silence even for Isaac. Isaac didn't move; he simply sat, his chair tilted on its back two legs, his eyes looking nowhere in particular. It was several minutes more before Isaac's soft voice broke the silence.

"Are you sure you searched every part of Mars Lighthouse?"

Felix almost groaned. Wasn't that obvious? "A thousand times." He replied. "I found nothing more than a...a..." He gulped. "A bloodstain."

Isaac said nothing. The silence returned. Felix couldn't stop himself from thinking about that bloodstain again. He could still see it clear in his mind, the mottled, dark red stain and the tiny droplets that had led to the door and then disappeared. Where had the droplets gone? Why had they stopped? She couldn't have just vanished at in the doorway. She-

"I can only see one option." Isaac said, breaking his thought process.

"What?" said Felix eagerly, sitting up, much of his pain now gone.

"You won't like it, Felix."

"Tell me."

Isaac leaned forward and put his hand on Felix's shoulder. "You need to have her funeral."

Felix felt his heart freeze. "What?" his voice was barely a whisper.

"It will give you the closure you need. You have to accept that she is gone, Felix, and if you want to live a life without her then you need to move on, you-"

"Stop." said Felix quietly. Isaac blinked, surprised.

"Felix, you-"

"Stop. Talking. Isaac."

The silence returned. Neither of them moved. Looking into Felix's eyes, Isaac saw the size of the mistake he had made. His stare was cold and very, very angry. Isaac removed his hand.

"You asked for my advice, Felix." Isaac said in his calmest possible voice. Felix said nothing, but Isaac could see his fingers twitching, as if they wanted to grasp the sword that was leant against the far wall. Felix stared at him for what felt like an eternity before speaking again.

"Get out Isaac. Don't come back."

Isaac stood. "I'm sorry Felix, but I can't do that."

"Why not."

Isaac's expression became resigned. "Because I'm going to have to tie you to that bed now, and you're going to stay there until you no longer rely on alcohol."

Felix froze like a rabbit in a bright light, but quickly leapt up. Isaac caught him before he left the bedside. He was not surprised; he had spent the last few months in the gutter while Isaac had probably spent it travelling and fighting. He screamed and yelled and kicked wildly, but to Isaac he was little more than a difficult toddler. "I'm sorry Felix," he said calmly "but we fought dragons and saved the world together, I won't see you drink your life away."

"You lied to me! You lied to me, you bastard!" He roared and screamed, but as Isaac tied him down he could do little more than flail weakly, his blows ineffectual. He cursed his own weakness, how had he let this happen to him, it was pathetic. In rage he called upon his psynergy. He felt the earth beneath the inn start to shake as he crumbled the rock to dust.

"I wouldn't do that, there are a lot of people in this inn, would you really have their blood on your hands?"

The rumblings stopped as Felix let his psynergy fade. "Better." Isaac continued. "It pains me to do this to you Felix, but it is better than what you would do to yourself."

Felix spat and turned his head towards the wall.

"Sulk if you want, but you're staying here until I think you have recovered. Now get some sleep. The next few days are going to be rough on you."


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm back bitches!_

With a groan, Felix woke to a clear head for the first time in months. He didn't know how long he had been in this Sol-damned room, days of pain had blurred everything into one long nightmare. He stared at the ceiling through bleary, tired eyes; he might have been crying, but he wasn't sure. "_Where's Isaac gone?" _He wondered – the adept had been there sometimes when he woke, sometimes not. "_Well, he has got his own life" _he figured. He tested his bonds yet again and winced as they rubbed the masses of scabs on his wrists. He had been struggling a lot, he remembered, thrashing and writhing as much as he could, but now he just felt calm. It felt as if his mind had passed through a tempest, and now it was flat and quiet. The door creaked slightly as Isaac entered.

"Morning. Feeling better?" His voice was soft, almost hopeful.

"I feel like I've been punched by a troll." Felix replied with a chuckle. "But yes, I feel better." Isaac smiled.

"There's the old Felix I know. "

"Are you going to let me out then?"

"One more day, just to be safe."

Felix sighed, but he was used to it by now. As much as he had hated Isaac over the last few days some tiny part of Felix had known that it was for his own good. He looked back up at the ceiling. "You know, I never asked you how the others were."

Isaac sat at the end of the bed. "I haven't seen some of them in a while, but I'll tell you what I know. Ivan and Sheba returned to Contigo with Kraden. They were talking about some kind of research into the Anemos Sanctum. Mia returned to Imil to check up on everyone and I think she started training more healers; Mercury adepts have been popping up a lot there since the Sun rose. Piers said he was going to examine Gaia Falls and no-one has seen him since. As for me, Jenna and Garet – we've been rebuilding Vale and just getting our lives back together."

Felix smiled. "That's good to hear. Are you and Jenna still together?"

Isaac tensed a little, fearing Felix's usual protectiveness. "Of course. Actually, there's something else I should tell you." He fumbled with his glove, his hands shaking a little. His glove came off to reveal a ring on his finger. "We're, uh, we're actually engaged."

There was a moment of silence, which Isaac found very painful, while Felix stared at the ring, but then he broke into a broad grin.

"That's fantastic Isaac! I'm so happy for you."

Isaac sighed in relief. "Thanks. I was worried you'd get angry." Felix raised an eyebrow in an 'Are you kidding me?' look.

"Isaac, I know that I'm very protective of my sister but you two are such a good match for each other. Besides," He gave a nod to indicate himself. "Look at me – I'm in no position to judge anyone." Isaac laughed and visibly relaxed, but quickly the mood sobered again, the silence returning.

"You know, Vale is still your home." Isaac said softly. "You're more than welcome to come back with me."

Felix shifted as best he could to look at Isaac properly. "I don't know where my home is anymore, Isaac. I haven't felt like Vale was my home since the boulder fell; the short time I spent there just reminded me of that night, and I couldn't deal with all those stares."

"Felix, I know some people thought you were evil. Sol, I did for a while, but once everything was explained people understood."

"It wasn't that. When people looked at me I could read it in their eyes – _Where have you been for the last four years? You were alive all this time and you didn't think to tell us? _ I just couldn't explain it to them more than I had already. For a while I thought Prox was my home but really it was just an Inn I had spent the last few years at. Everyone there was my friends, but not my family. Everywhere I go there are just too many loose ends to tie up. I even tried just starting over again – I bought a house in Alhafra and lived there for a while, but then I felt like my life didn't have a purpose anymore. I just can't move on."

Nothing was said while Isaac processed what Felix said. He just sat there for a while and tried to think of something to say in response. "You've heard my advice." Was all he could manage. Felix didn't say anything; he just lay there and stared at the ceiling. Eventually it was too much to bear and Isaac got up and headed for the door. "Just call if you want anything." He said as he opened the door, he turned and stepped through.

"I can't have her funeral, Isaac."

Isaac froze, the door almost closed behind him. He turned back and stepped back into the room. The two adepts stared at each other silently. "You need to move on, Felix."

"No Isaac, I can't have her funeral because she's not dead."

Isaac just stared at him. "No-one's seen her in over a year, Felix. When we last saw her she had wounds not even Mia could heal. If she were alive, we would know."

"_I know_, Isaac."

"How?"

"I know because... because I tried to bring her back."

Isaac's blood ran cold. "What?" he whispered.

Felix swallowed, looking back up at the ceiling. "I got desperate. Really, really desperate. While I was travelling I heard rumours, rumours that the Kibombo people knew some powerful psynergy, the kind no-one had ever seen before. While we were on our quest we travelled there and acquired a book called the Necronomicon. We didn't really know what it was for so we never used it ourselves, but it turned out that the Kibombo had been up in arms since its loss. It turns out that the Necronomicon was part of their ancient magic – in their language it means 'The Book of the Dead'. No, please Isaac, let me finish before you say anything. When I heard these rumours I took the book and travelled to their village. They almost killed me on sight, but when I brought out the book they fell to the ground in worship as if I were some kind of god. As I walked through their village I met their leader – a shaman, who told me that being able to hold the book without being consumed by its power marked me as sacred. I didn't know what they were talking about, but if it got me what I wanted I would go along with it.

"They took me into the great Gabomba statue. They told me that by using the powers of the book I could exchange a portion of my own life force for a few moments with someone who had passed on, but it would be difficult and painful. I didn't care. I accepted immediately. That night the ritual began; while the Kibombo people danced and wailed outside in a huge tribal chant the shaman created a brew of strange herbs and powders that bubbled and hissed, as if the collection of strange ingredients hated even their own creation. The shaman took out a large, curved knife and dipped it into the mixture, speaking from the Necronomicon as he did. The shadows seemed to lengthen in the torchlight, and I swore I could hear a faint whispering even over the tribal dance and the shaman. The knife was presented to me and the shaman told me to draw it across my palm. 'Life for life, death for death' was what he said to me as I did. Holding the blade to my hand I drew it across and cut into my flesh.

"The moment the blade pierced my skin the flesh of my hand burned and throbbed, as if the wound were already infected and feverish. I handed the bloodied knife back to the shaman; he took it and drew a circle on the floor with my blood. The chanting outside grew louder and the shadows grew longer. The whispering became more intense, more fervent. I didn't realise before, but thinking about it now the whispering was coming from the Book. The shaman brought me into the circle and made me hold out my hand; the blood dripping into the circle and flowing into grooves in the ground that I didn't remember being there before. I took out the necklace – the last gift I got from her, and I took out one of the hairs inside it. The shaman said the hair would focus the magic onto her and let me see her again. Tears were running down my cheeks, I was so happy. All I had to do was drop the hair into the blood below me. The shaman started screaming passages from the Necronomicon, black psynergy formed in his palms. Holding out the hair, I stepped out of the circle and dropped it.

"Slowly the hair drifted to the ground, and as soon as it touched the blood there was a huge flash of light. The blood started glowing, the whole statue started shaking. Suddenly the cut on my hand was agonising, and when I looked at it I saw that the blood from it, rather than falling to the ground, was flowing through the air and into the circle. The blood started to rise from the floor. The whispering was now roaring in my ears like a hurricane. The blood began to take shape; it looked like a human and, with an almighty scream, the shaman thrust his hands forward and two bolts of psynergy fired from his hands, knocking himself back against the wall and igniting the circle in fire. Another flash of light blinded me and when I opened my eyes...I saw her.

"A year could have passed and I wouldn't have known, but for those few short moments I saw her as I remembered her – strong, beautiful, proud, smiling. Neither of us said anything, we just stared at each other. It was as if nothing had changed. Her pink hair still ruffled in the wind, her wine-red eyes still full of fire, her gentle smile still full of warmth. I could have stayed there forever, just staring at her, marvelling in her beauty. I didn't know what to say, but it didn't seem like anything needed to be said.

"It was only when she stepped towards me when it all went wrong. The moment she stepped outside the circle her whole body sagged, as she was just a shell filled with water. I called out to her, but when she tried to speak blood gushed from her mouth. The shaman roared at me – 'You fool' he said 'You cannot bring someone back if they are not dead!' I looked at him in horror and confusion, but he was already running for the exit. 'Get away.' He screamed. 'Everybody run!' I didn't know why, but I started running as well, but a horrible, agonised scream came from behind me. I turned to see an abomination, not the woman I loved. It was melting, collapsing in on itself. The Necronomicon seemed to have risen into the air, the pages turning by themselves. Light started to pour out of the book. Then light seemed to come from the creature in front of me, pouring from every angle as it built and built. With one last look at the monster I had created I turned and ran. I ran as fast as I could but it wasn't enough. From behind me there was a huge explosion that knocked me forward and out of the statue. When I looked up from where I had landed everything was burning and the Kibombo people had scattered. So as soon as I could I got up and ran, I ran for as long and as far as I could manage, until the sound of that awful whispering had got out of my head."

"That's why I can't have her funeral, Isaac. That's why."

Isaac didn't say anything. He just stared at Felix for a long, long time. Without a word he turned around and left the room, wondering when his friend had become a stranger.


End file.
